MIZO FOOL

MIZO FOOL

One of my favourite songs is the chart topper ‘Stupid girl’ by the Rock band ‘No Doubt’. My fondness for it has little to do with the title of the song. I mention it in context to what I’m about to write about – Mizo women.
My dear sister fools are so proud of themselves today. They get to wear whatever they want, ‘date’ how-ever many times they want to, are free to work as much (note – NOT as little) as they want, and match the men stride for stride at the workplace. They’re so smart in-fact, that the ‘poor’ men have been shoved out of most work places, and as anyone who’s not blind and deaf with no access to Braille will tell you – the entire Bara Bazar, the commercial heart of Aizawl and thus the money capital of Mizoram, is manned (or ‘wo-manned’) by women no less.
And yet in all the houses I’ve had the pleasure of visiting, I’ve yet to come across a single one where the men have a pro-active role in the running of the house. The Mizo woman thus, is literally everywhere – at the workplace and at the kitchen sink. Is this what women’s emancipation is all about? Have the Mizo women got their act together and come ‘of age’? Are they ready to storm the corridors of power and teach the world a thing or two about women’s rightful place in society in general and the world in particular? Have they stormed the centuries old male bastions open?
Sorry sister, the answer’s a resounding no! In fact nowhere have I seen women more cunningly exploited than in Mizoram. O.K so, you wear whatever little bit you want to and do your bit for global warming by reducing textile usage to the barest minimum and finish the job with half a meter of the flimsiest cloth in town. Most people in other parts of the world call it exploitation, unless you are a professional entertainer (Mizoram, in its 60 years of existence has failed to produce even one successful entertainer of serious repute); our Mizo sisters perplexingly view it as liberalizing. Since when have wearing tiny tops, or pimple revealing tight clothes and the lowest possible waists qualified as liberalizing? I wouldn’t consider a man ‘liberalised’ just because he finishes his outfit with half a meter of cloth! In that case Salman Khan would be the most liberalised man on planet earth! And we all know that he isn’t (remember Aishwarya Rai’s broken arm in a plaster at the Filmfare awards – because she ‘fell down’ or wannabe actress Somy Ali’s Thums Up spilling from her head – she ‘liked’ it when her man get’s possessive, or most recently, a tight slap for his latest ex, Katrina Kaif, who knows for what – by now nobody’s even asking).
Like most other Mizos, I have a huge yen for fashion. But I hardly consider it a path-breaker when I can wear whatever I want; and really – you can’t. Try wearing trousers to church like the men and you’ve had it. I agree that most societies have a dress code, but my point is that the freedom to wear whatever I want as a woman wouldn’t qualify, at least to me, as emancipation. Sorry I’m not buying it – you can’t fool me or pacify me into believing that the freedom to wear what I want, is the same as the freedom to live an equal life.
Then there’s work. Like in all other tribal societies, in the villages, the women work alongside the men in the fields. This has often been quoted as the reason for the so called egalitarian tribal culture and society. In the towns, however, most government offices are male-dominated, while I saw almost all the businesses in the heart of aforementioned commercial capital of Aizawl manned by women – they were there everywhere, either literally running the place or directing the business from elsewhere. In either case, one fact is for sure – Mizo women work just as hard or more so than the Mizo men to earn money. The surprising thing is that in Mizo households however, I’ve never seen a man play a pro-active role – EVER! This is really strange considering that the women work just as hard or more so at the workplace. Any man involved in cooking or heaven forbid – cleaning dishes is un-thinkable.
The conclusion is that, while women must be man enough to work with the men, the men cannot ever, under any circumstances, be ‘woman enough’ to work with the women. ‘Masculinisation’ is alright, not ‘feminization’. As long as this point is limited to objective discussions, it’s ok, but unfortunately, when you translate it in real life terms, it simply boils down to this for women – work to bring money home, and work again at home to, well, run the house. What kind of a bargain is that! So called regressive house wives are much better off. At least they only have to work one time at home. The saddest part is that this rule has been imposed not by government laws, but by the strongest laws known to mankind – social laws and through social control. Thus it is these very women who are getting exploited who staunchly support the very social mores that exploit them. Were a man to take a pro-active role in house-work, his women folk would be condemned and he, himself ostracized through the strictest punishment known to man – no, I’m not talking of a life sentence in solitary confinement, I’m talking of social ridicule. The man and his family are constantly made fun of by people around them. So the man wonders why he should bother to exert himself plus invite ridicule when he can just sit back and ‘lord it’ minus the ridicule. The funniest thing is that tribal women in towns and or villages rarely have access to their earnings! So on top of everything else, madam needs to hand over her earnings as well to her lord. Do you still call that emancipation? I don’t.
Then there’s the question of dating. Typically, men and women date before tying up in knots, or tying the knot. The Mizo crowd is so proud of itself – they don’t have ‘arranged’ marriages like most other Indians do, because they’re so modern. Let’s take a look at the side-effects – pretty girl has many admirers. She dates one, two or more to the envy of all. Finally, she zeroes in on one of them and waits for him to pop the question; and she waits and waits…. You get the drift. Good if he does, if he doesn’t, she’ll have to go on to the next and so on. When he tires of her, he simply puts her aside, and should she protest over lost time and energy, good old society immediately springs to the defense of Romeo. “Cant she just let him go when he doesn’t want her anymore?” Men have developed social norms at every stage to douse the slightest threat to their superiority. How can men and women have the same set of rules while dating when men and women are biologically not alike? If a woman gives a man the best of her life, her biological clock is ticking. Where is she supposed to go after that when the male superioris decides he wants to sow some more wild oats? His clock isn’t ticking and he’s not bothered. A classic case of the hunter becoming the hunted. And yet we all dislike it universally, whether here or in Hollywood, when a woman plays ‘hunterwali’ (with due apologies to Hemaji the original Sita and Gita).
Contrast this to the mainstream Indian ‘arranged marriages’. Pretty girl’s mother won’t let Romeo or any other hero near her daughter. “If you like her enough to date her, then come back with your parents to decide the wedding date”, is their strict social rule, and I think it’s a good way to balance the uneven biological clocks that tick between the sexes. Any thought of leaving the wife post-marriage is almost un-thinkable under the self same social rules. Contrast this with the social bias that exists in Mizoram, where a man can easily walk out on his wife with full social acceptance, and one wonders who’s the one who’s really regressive - Us or them? While a Mizo man can walk out of his marriage scot free to become an eligible bachelor, the only thing a man from mainstream India can look forward to in such a situation, is an arrest warrant, in addition to social ostracism that will also affect his entire family.
Relax sisters, put your hunting rifles down. It’s so yesterday; get a double barreled gun instead, or at least an AK 47 – it can carry more ammunition and fire more rapidly without pause! (By the way, its Russian inventor, Mr. Kalashnikov died recently) Seriously though, this writing is not intended to kick start a male versus female war. The author only wishes to point out that one half of the population is getting the short end of the stick, is getting taken for a ride or whatever. And as a fair minded individual and propagator of equality, non-discrimination and social equity and equality, it is my heartfelt desire to equalize this un-acceptable exploitation of the female gender.
Our good God never wanted it, and though many people who know the good Book better than me can quote many chapters, verses, or even commas to prove otherwise, I request us all to look into the attitude of the Book and its spirit in its entirety, and not just page-wise or chapter wise.
Men and women are different – there’s no two ways about it and it’s a fact. However, we were always meant to be together. We were made different precisely for this reason, so that one could compensate where the other lacked. A harmonious union between the two is the only, I repeat, ONLY solution for human beings to reach their full potential. This can be accomplished by gradually making way for the new, giving women their due, modifying the all important social rules and giving tradition a go by where need be. Tradition after all is only what I’m doing today that will be copied by my great, great grand-children tomorrow. And we all know how mundane most of what we do today is – for example, I read the newspaper as soon as I get up in the morning every day. I’m sure many of us don’t. Imagine how silly it would be if my descendents many decades from now insist that it is a part of their culture to read the newspaper as soon as they get up? Truth is, if any of our ancestors were around today, they would probably tell us to stop doing whatever it is that we do in the name of tradition! We must learn to be flexible and keep our confidence and dignity in ourselves and in those we love and care for, rather than in rigid know-hows that have been passed onto us by our ancestors, whatever its intention.
The challenge then, is for us to be able to move into the fast emerging future keeping what’s relevant of the past with us and not getting stifled or sacrificing one half of our population to achieve what’s rightfully ours, because that would be a shame. And as I see it, with more and more women getting better educated, reading more and increasing their awareness, it’s imperative for us to bridge this inimical gap sooner rather than later – otherwise the consequences could be more far reaching than we can imagine, even leading to a dying of our kind. After all, no matter how Machiavellian the plot, man still cannot give birth and clones are not the solution I’m looking at.