MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING
I recently read about some Telugu film actresses being caught ‘Red – handed’. I yawned and caught my flight. I really like Shamshabad airport. When I came back, I happened to bring it up with a retired Brahmin gentleman in the AP Express – I, expressing my agony (as in – must we suffer such news? / is it even news?) at the topic and he sheepishly expressing ‘shock’ at the news. It made me think – Are we really surprised that our film actresses are not chaste? I doubt it. The casting couch is not even a complaint anymore, it’s considered a biased ‘opportunity’ that is prejudiced against men!!! And as equality between the sexes would have it, the men refuse to be left behind - in this race at least. Thus we have shady stories of how women directors need to be kept in good humour, and worse – how men with different preferences need to be kept amused as well!
It really makes a lot of sense. It’s unofficially accepted. The list of A listers, anyone with an iota of common sense would’ve noticed, is endless. Some are not even impolite to talk about – I mean, what exactly was Jayalalita to M.G.R? A dear friend?? And Mr.Bachhan might choose to act doting father to his adult kid now, but there was a time when he doted on a certain Miss.Re for years and years. I knew it, you knew it, Jaya knew it, and his kids had to know about it. So much for prudence. Then we have the un-romantic, but business associations. Thus, Sri dear visited producers and directors with her mother in tow and so did Karisma Kapoor dearies, yes with mother in tow – she was even caught visiting a Bombay officer with the Income Tax at night while she was having serious tax problems. The picture is not even of a dirty drooling old man trying to entice young innocent women, it’s the other way round. Poor old men are being enticed by young things.
Once the A listers are willing to sacrifice their dignity for commercial success, then, it naturally ensues that the B and C listers would follow suit. Thus by the time you reach the D listers, it doesn’t really matter if it’s a producer or a director anymore. I mean isn’t it all just the same anyway? I mean, how do you grade loss of dignity?? When you lose it for a movie role or success, what’s the harm in losing some for money? Isn’t a movie or success, equal more or less to money? Aren’t they all roughly equivalent to ‘material things’? Then what’s the hue and cry all about? I certainly hope that it’s not about being caught per se. The issue should not be about whether you get caught or not. If everyone is doing the same thing and only those that get caught are condemned, then it’s just plain foolish.
I’m not acting jaded or anything. I’m just saying – I knew it was a distinct possibility, I’m not going to act shocked. I mean, when someone I don’t even know is doing these things with some dirty old men, the last thing I’m asking is what the men’s profession is. If they are producers or directors, then she must be a ‘career oriented’ girl’, so forget it. If they are not, then she is just a cheap girl ‘embroiled’ in the ‘flesh trade’. How foolishly we think. Wrong is wrong everywhere stupid. Don’t ask whether it’s this or that. This and that is all wrong. The bottom-line is, once you compromise on your dignity, then the pits the limit!
What I was extremely bothered about was that none of the male ‘clients’ were taken to task, much less booked! Does anyone even know the identity of those men? Why have the actual villains – the men not been named or identified?? Bring them out. Let the world see their faces, let their wives, partners, mothers, sisters, fathers and neighbours know what they like to do in their free time. Why have the names and even the pictures of the victims been publicized? It’s a shame, a bloody sad shame. In case everybody has forgotten how to read, the law clearly states that it is the ‘clients’ that perpetuate the flesh trade and that it is them that must be severely punished. All women are actually required to be treated as victims. And this makes perfect sense.
The oldest profession in the world is a cheap male attempt to subjugate women and it’s a pity that it still exists today. The reason it does is because society has relegated women to ‘objects’. Women who think or women who refuse to be ‘objects’ are mercilessly worn down by the world’s most stringent laws – social laws. Thus, when her own women folk and everyone around her create an environment where ‘normal’ is a woman being subjugated, objectified and encouraged through acceptance to manipulate, then, more often than not, she succumbs to being an ‘object’. If she valiantly bears it out, then society does her in, so that men can show the rest of the women what their plight would be should they choose to follow her path. Thus it becomes imperative that any woman who refuses to become an ‘object’ must be made into an example of – ‘do you want to be her?’ Pathetic excuses like men have needs should be given a decent burial.
Prostitution apparently exists because men have more persistent needs than women, and require the outlets that prostitution provides. But this is an implausible explanation. Most women seem capable of developing their sexuality in a more intense fashion than men (Hyde 1986). If prostitution existed simply to serve sexual needs, there would be many male prostitutes to cater to women, which is not the case. Therefore, the best conclusion is that prostitution expresses and helps to perpetuate the tendency of men to treat women as objects who can be used for sexual purposes. It represents the inequality between men and women, and orthodox society’s tendency to encourage men to seek a variety of sexual outlets, while condemning those people who cater to these very needs.
My take on the issue? Grow up, stop pretending and realize that YOU are actually responsible for the flesh trade!
August 2010
Monday, October 25, 2010
Sunday, October 3, 2010
MIZO FOOL
MIZO FOOL
One of my favourite songs is the chart topper ‘Stupid girl’ by the Rock band ‘No Doubt’. My fondness for it has little to do with the title of the song. I mention it in context to what I’m about to write about – Mizo women.
My dear sister fools are so proud of themselves today. They get to wear whatever they want, ‘date’ how-ever many times they want to, are free to work as much (note – NOT as little) as they want, and match the men stride for stride at the workplace. They’re so smart in-fact, that the ‘poor’ men have been shoved out of most work places, and as anyone who’s not blind and deaf with no access to Braille will tell you – the entire Bara Bazar, the commercial heart of Aizawl and thus the money capital of Mizoram, is manned (or ‘wo-manned’) by women no less.
And yet in all the houses I’ve had the pleasure of visiting, I’ve yet to come across a single one where the men have a pro-active role in the running of the house. The Mizo woman thus, is literally everywhere – at the workplace and at the kitchen sink. Is this what women’s emancipation is all about? Have the Mizo women got their act together and come ‘of age’? Are they ready to storm the corridors of power and teach the world a thing or two about women’s rightful place in society in general and the world in particular? Have they stormed the centuries old male bastions open?
Sorry sister, the answer’s a resounding no! In fact nowhere have I seen women more cunningly exploited than in Mizoram. O.K so, you wear whatever little bit you want to and do your bit for global warming by reducing textile usage to the barest minimum and finish the job with half a meter of the flimsiest cloth in town. Most people in other parts of the world call it exploitation, unless you are a professional entertainer (Mizoram, in its 60 years of existence has failed to produce even one successful entertainer of serious repute); our Mizo sisters perplexingly view it as liberalizing. Since when have wearing tiny tops, or pimple revealing tight clothes and the lowest possible waists qualified as liberalizing? I wouldn’t consider a man ‘liberalised’ just because he finishes his outfit with half a meter of cloth! In that case Salman Khan would be the most liberalised man on planet earth! And we all know that he isn’t (remember Aishwarya Rai’s broken arm in a plaster at the Filmfare awards – because she ‘fell down’ or wannabe actress Somy Ali’s Thums Up spilling from her head – she ‘liked’ it when her man get’s possessive, or most recently, a tight slap for his latest ex, Katrina Kaif, who knows for what – by now nobody’s even asking).
Like most other Mizos, I have a huge yen for fashion. But I hardly consider it a path-breaker when I can wear whatever I want; and really – you can’t. Try wearing trousers to church like the men and you’ve had it. I agree that most societies have a dress code, but my point is that the freedom to wear whatever I want as a woman wouldn’t qualify, at least to me, as emancipation. Sorry I’m not buying it – you can’t fool me or pacify me into believing that the freedom to wear what I want, is the same as the freedom to live an equal life.
Then there’s work. Like in all other tribal societies, in the villages, the women work alongside the men in the fields. This has often been quoted as the reason for the so called egalitarian tribal culture and society. In the towns, however, most government offices are male-dominated, while I saw almost all the businesses in the heart of aforementioned commercial capital of Aizawl manned by women – they were there everywhere, either literally running the place or directing the business from elsewhere. In either case, one fact is for sure – Mizo women work just as hard or more so than the Mizo men to earn money. The surprising thing is that in Mizo households however, I’ve never seen a man play a pro-active role – EVER! This is really strange considering that the women work just as hard or more so at the workplace. Any man involved in cooking or heaven forbid – cleaning dishes is un-thinkable.
The conclusion is that, while women must be man enough to work with the men, the men cannot ever, under any circumstances, be ‘woman enough’ to work with the women. ‘Masculinisation’ is alright, not ‘feminization’. As long as this point is limited to objective discussions, it’s ok, but unfortunately, when you translate it in real life terms, it simply boils down to this for women – work to bring money home, and work again at home to, well, run the house. What kind of a bargain is that! So called regressive house wives are much better off. At least they only have to work one time at home. The saddest part is that this rule has been imposed not by government laws, but by the strongest laws known to mankind – social laws and through social control. Thus it is these very women who are getting exploited who staunchly support the very social mores that exploit them. Were a man to take a pro-active role in house-work, his women folk would be condemned and he, himself ostracized through the strictest punishment known to man – no, I’m not talking of a life sentence in solitary confinement, I’m talking of social ridicule. The man and his family are constantly made fun of by people around them. So the man wonders why he should bother to exert himself plus invite ridicule when he can just sit back and ‘lord it’ minus the ridicule. The funniest thing is that tribal women in towns and or villages rarely have access to their earnings! So on top of everything else, madam needs to hand over her earnings as well to her lord. Do you still call that emancipation? I don’t.
Then there’s the question of dating. Typically, men and women date before tying up in knots, or tying the knot. The Mizo crowd is so proud of itself – they don’t have ‘arranged’ marriages like most other Indians do, because they’re so modern. Let’s take a look at the side-effects – pretty girl has many admirers. She dates one, two or more to the envy of all. Finally, she zeroes in on one of them and waits for him to pop the question; and she waits and waits…. You get the drift. Good if he does, if he doesn’t, she’ll have to go on to the next and so on. When he tires of her, he simply puts her aside, and should she protest over lost time and energy, good old society immediately springs to the defense of Romeo. “Cant she just let him go when he doesn’t want her anymore?” Men have developed social norms at every stage to douse the slightest threat to their superiority. How can men and women have the same set of rules while dating when men and women are biologically not alike? If a woman gives a man the best of her life, her biological clock is ticking. Where is she supposed to go after that when the male superioris decides he wants to sow some more wild oats? His clock isn’t ticking and he’s not bothered. A classic case of the hunter becoming the hunted. And yet we all dislike it universally, whether here or in Hollywood, when a woman plays ‘hunterwali’ (with due apologies to Hemaji the original Sita and Gita).
Contrast this to the mainstream Indian ‘arranged marriages’. Pretty girl’s mother won’t let Romeo or any other hero near her daughter. “If you like her enough to date her, then come back with your parents to decide the wedding date”, is their strict social rule, and I think it’s a good way to balance the uneven biological clocks that tick between the sexes. Any thought of leaving the wife post-marriage is almost un-thinkable under the self same social rules. Contrast this with the social bias that exists in Mizoram, where a man can easily walk out on his wife with full social acceptance, and one wonders who’s the one who’s really regressive - Us or them? While a Mizo man can walk out of his marriage scot free to become an eligible bachelor, the only thing a man from mainstream India can look forward to in such a situation, is an arrest warrant, in addition to social ostracism that will also affect his entire family.
Relax sisters, put your hunting rifles down. It’s so yesterday; get a double barreled gun instead, or at least an AK 47 – it can carry more ammunition and fire more rapidly without pause! (By the way, its Russian inventor, Mr. Kalashnikov died recently) Seriously though, this writing is not intended to kick start a male versus female war. The author only wishes to point out that one half of the population is getting the short end of the stick, is getting taken for a ride or whatever. And as a fair minded individual and propagator of equality, non-discrimination and social equity and equality, it is my heartfelt desire to equalize this un-acceptable exploitation of the female gender.
Our good God never wanted it, and though many people who know the good Book better than me can quote many chapters, verses, or even commas to prove otherwise, I request us all to look into the attitude of the Book and its spirit in its entirety, and not just page-wise or chapter wise.
Men and women are different – there’s no two ways about it and it’s a fact. However, we were always meant to be together. We were made different precisely for this reason, so that one could compensate where the other lacked. A harmonious union between the two is the only, I repeat, ONLY solution for human beings to reach their full potential. This can be accomplished by gradually making way for the new, giving women their due, modifying the all important social rules and giving tradition a go by where need be. Tradition after all is only what I’m doing today that will be copied by my great, great grand-children tomorrow. And we all know how mundane most of what we do today is – for example, I read the newspaper as soon as I get up in the morning every day. I’m sure many of us don’t. Imagine how silly it would be if my descendents many decades from now insist that it is a part of their culture to read the newspaper as soon as they get up? Truth is, if any of our ancestors were around today, they would probably tell us to stop doing whatever it is that we do in the name of tradition! We must learn to be flexible and keep our confidence and dignity in ourselves and in those we love and care for, rather than in rigid know-hows that have been passed onto us by our ancestors, whatever its intention.
The challenge then, is for us to be able to move into the fast emerging future keeping what’s relevant of the past with us and not getting stifled or sacrificing one half of our population to achieve what’s rightfully ours, because that would be a shame. And as I see it, with more and more women getting better educated, reading more and increasing their awareness, it’s imperative for us to bridge this inimical gap sooner rather than later – otherwise the consequences could be more far reaching than we can imagine, even leading to a dying of our kind. After all, no matter how Machiavellian the plot, man still cannot give birth and clones are not the solution I’m looking at.
One of my favourite songs is the chart topper ‘Stupid girl’ by the Rock band ‘No Doubt’. My fondness for it has little to do with the title of the song. I mention it in context to what I’m about to write about – Mizo women.
My dear sister fools are so proud of themselves today. They get to wear whatever they want, ‘date’ how-ever many times they want to, are free to work as much (note – NOT as little) as they want, and match the men stride for stride at the workplace. They’re so smart in-fact, that the ‘poor’ men have been shoved out of most work places, and as anyone who’s not blind and deaf with no access to Braille will tell you – the entire Bara Bazar, the commercial heart of Aizawl and thus the money capital of Mizoram, is manned (or ‘wo-manned’) by women no less.
And yet in all the houses I’ve had the pleasure of visiting, I’ve yet to come across a single one where the men have a pro-active role in the running of the house. The Mizo woman thus, is literally everywhere – at the workplace and at the kitchen sink. Is this what women’s emancipation is all about? Have the Mizo women got their act together and come ‘of age’? Are they ready to storm the corridors of power and teach the world a thing or two about women’s rightful place in society in general and the world in particular? Have they stormed the centuries old male bastions open?
Sorry sister, the answer’s a resounding no! In fact nowhere have I seen women more cunningly exploited than in Mizoram. O.K so, you wear whatever little bit you want to and do your bit for global warming by reducing textile usage to the barest minimum and finish the job with half a meter of the flimsiest cloth in town. Most people in other parts of the world call it exploitation, unless you are a professional entertainer (Mizoram, in its 60 years of existence has failed to produce even one successful entertainer of serious repute); our Mizo sisters perplexingly view it as liberalizing. Since when have wearing tiny tops, or pimple revealing tight clothes and the lowest possible waists qualified as liberalizing? I wouldn’t consider a man ‘liberalised’ just because he finishes his outfit with half a meter of cloth! In that case Salman Khan would be the most liberalised man on planet earth! And we all know that he isn’t (remember Aishwarya Rai’s broken arm in a plaster at the Filmfare awards – because she ‘fell down’ or wannabe actress Somy Ali’s Thums Up spilling from her head – she ‘liked’ it when her man get’s possessive, or most recently, a tight slap for his latest ex, Katrina Kaif, who knows for what – by now nobody’s even asking).
Like most other Mizos, I have a huge yen for fashion. But I hardly consider it a path-breaker when I can wear whatever I want; and really – you can’t. Try wearing trousers to church like the men and you’ve had it. I agree that most societies have a dress code, but my point is that the freedom to wear whatever I want as a woman wouldn’t qualify, at least to me, as emancipation. Sorry I’m not buying it – you can’t fool me or pacify me into believing that the freedom to wear what I want, is the same as the freedom to live an equal life.
Then there’s work. Like in all other tribal societies, in the villages, the women work alongside the men in the fields. This has often been quoted as the reason for the so called egalitarian tribal culture and society. In the towns, however, most government offices are male-dominated, while I saw almost all the businesses in the heart of aforementioned commercial capital of Aizawl manned by women – they were there everywhere, either literally running the place or directing the business from elsewhere. In either case, one fact is for sure – Mizo women work just as hard or more so than the Mizo men to earn money. The surprising thing is that in Mizo households however, I’ve never seen a man play a pro-active role – EVER! This is really strange considering that the women work just as hard or more so at the workplace. Any man involved in cooking or heaven forbid – cleaning dishes is un-thinkable.
The conclusion is that, while women must be man enough to work with the men, the men cannot ever, under any circumstances, be ‘woman enough’ to work with the women. ‘Masculinisation’ is alright, not ‘feminization’. As long as this point is limited to objective discussions, it’s ok, but unfortunately, when you translate it in real life terms, it simply boils down to this for women – work to bring money home, and work again at home to, well, run the house. What kind of a bargain is that! So called regressive house wives are much better off. At least they only have to work one time at home. The saddest part is that this rule has been imposed not by government laws, but by the strongest laws known to mankind – social laws and through social control. Thus it is these very women who are getting exploited who staunchly support the very social mores that exploit them. Were a man to take a pro-active role in house-work, his women folk would be condemned and he, himself ostracized through the strictest punishment known to man – no, I’m not talking of a life sentence in solitary confinement, I’m talking of social ridicule. The man and his family are constantly made fun of by people around them. So the man wonders why he should bother to exert himself plus invite ridicule when he can just sit back and ‘lord it’ minus the ridicule. The funniest thing is that tribal women in towns and or villages rarely have access to their earnings! So on top of everything else, madam needs to hand over her earnings as well to her lord. Do you still call that emancipation? I don’t.
Then there’s the question of dating. Typically, men and women date before tying up in knots, or tying the knot. The Mizo crowd is so proud of itself – they don’t have ‘arranged’ marriages like most other Indians do, because they’re so modern. Let’s take a look at the side-effects – pretty girl has many admirers. She dates one, two or more to the envy of all. Finally, she zeroes in on one of them and waits for him to pop the question; and she waits and waits…. You get the drift. Good if he does, if he doesn’t, she’ll have to go on to the next and so on. When he tires of her, he simply puts her aside, and should she protest over lost time and energy, good old society immediately springs to the defense of Romeo. “Cant she just let him go when he doesn’t want her anymore?” Men have developed social norms at every stage to douse the slightest threat to their superiority. How can men and women have the same set of rules while dating when men and women are biologically not alike? If a woman gives a man the best of her life, her biological clock is ticking. Where is she supposed to go after that when the male superioris decides he wants to sow some more wild oats? His clock isn’t ticking and he’s not bothered. A classic case of the hunter becoming the hunted. And yet we all dislike it universally, whether here or in Hollywood, when a woman plays ‘hunterwali’ (with due apologies to Hemaji the original Sita and Gita).
Contrast this to the mainstream Indian ‘arranged marriages’. Pretty girl’s mother won’t let Romeo or any other hero near her daughter. “If you like her enough to date her, then come back with your parents to decide the wedding date”, is their strict social rule, and I think it’s a good way to balance the uneven biological clocks that tick between the sexes. Any thought of leaving the wife post-marriage is almost un-thinkable under the self same social rules. Contrast this with the social bias that exists in Mizoram, where a man can easily walk out on his wife with full social acceptance, and one wonders who’s the one who’s really regressive - Us or them? While a Mizo man can walk out of his marriage scot free to become an eligible bachelor, the only thing a man from mainstream India can look forward to in such a situation, is an arrest warrant, in addition to social ostracism that will also affect his entire family.
Relax sisters, put your hunting rifles down. It’s so yesterday; get a double barreled gun instead, or at least an AK 47 – it can carry more ammunition and fire more rapidly without pause! (By the way, its Russian inventor, Mr. Kalashnikov died recently) Seriously though, this writing is not intended to kick start a male versus female war. The author only wishes to point out that one half of the population is getting the short end of the stick, is getting taken for a ride or whatever. And as a fair minded individual and propagator of equality, non-discrimination and social equity and equality, it is my heartfelt desire to equalize this un-acceptable exploitation of the female gender.
Our good God never wanted it, and though many people who know the good Book better than me can quote many chapters, verses, or even commas to prove otherwise, I request us all to look into the attitude of the Book and its spirit in its entirety, and not just page-wise or chapter wise.
Men and women are different – there’s no two ways about it and it’s a fact. However, we were always meant to be together. We were made different precisely for this reason, so that one could compensate where the other lacked. A harmonious union between the two is the only, I repeat, ONLY solution for human beings to reach their full potential. This can be accomplished by gradually making way for the new, giving women their due, modifying the all important social rules and giving tradition a go by where need be. Tradition after all is only what I’m doing today that will be copied by my great, great grand-children tomorrow. And we all know how mundane most of what we do today is – for example, I read the newspaper as soon as I get up in the morning every day. I’m sure many of us don’t. Imagine how silly it would be if my descendents many decades from now insist that it is a part of their culture to read the newspaper as soon as they get up? Truth is, if any of our ancestors were around today, they would probably tell us to stop doing whatever it is that we do in the name of tradition! We must learn to be flexible and keep our confidence and dignity in ourselves and in those we love and care for, rather than in rigid know-hows that have been passed onto us by our ancestors, whatever its intention.
The challenge then, is for us to be able to move into the fast emerging future keeping what’s relevant of the past with us and not getting stifled or sacrificing one half of our population to achieve what’s rightfully ours, because that would be a shame. And as I see it, with more and more women getting better educated, reading more and increasing their awareness, it’s imperative for us to bridge this inimical gap sooner rather than later – otherwise the consequences could be more far reaching than we can imagine, even leading to a dying of our kind. After all, no matter how Machiavellian the plot, man still cannot give birth and clones are not the solution I’m looking at.
ITS ALL ABOUT THE SEX
Most people think an activist must be shrill, vociferous or at the very least radical. De-glam, by the way, is taken for granted – I mean, is the Pope Catholic? They are supposed to champion these mega causes, at least the size of a humongous dam – see, you’re already thinking Narmada! What one needs to realize is that these ‘humongous’ issues are really the easy ones – there for all to see, easy to write about and in most cases, have easy targets – the Government of India; which by the way, un-beknownst to most is simply you and I. Yes, it’s that basic – when simple ‘you’ and ‘I’ get together, we form the behemoth ‘Government of India’.
But the biggest point that almost all fail to see is that the real activists are the ones who fight for change – for an improvement in their day to day lives. This then is the real challenge. The issues are rarely ‘news-worthy’, and the target is most likely a non-descript humdrum ‘regular’ bloke. And as we all know – CHANGE ALWAYS MEETS WITH RESISTANCE.
For example, as a champion of women’s rights and women’s empowerment, why do most folks automatically assume that I support ‘bra-burning’ or ‘women’s boxing’? Why do people expect me to be shrill and go on ‘dharnas’ or at least join a procession now and then? First off, I don’t support boxing – male or female. I just don’t get it; and enjoying it is far too much for me. All that blood etc, is too gory for me. Fact is, I’ve often wondered what aliens must think of us should they watch a boxing match from their spaceship far way. Hundreds of people watching and PAYING to see two people hurt each other as best they can?? I can see them shaking their heads and calling us un-civilised and barbaric at the very least. Second, as a practical science student who also passed in Physics at the Intermediate (Plus two) level, I certainly wouldn’t advocate ‘bra-burning’, if for nothing other than long term gravity effects which could result in irreversible un-aesthetic results. Third, for some reason, God gave me a weak set of vocal cords, as I’ve discovered much to my chagrin, since I love to converse. I’m prone to laryngitis and occasional pharyngitis – being shrill, is just a no no. (plus I find it distasteful on a personal level). As for the ‘dharnas’, lets face it – what with the global warming and what not, the heat is simply not worth battling it out on the streets, for someone who’s not a Mayawati who can manage to get a.cs fitted to their podiums.
Where women’s lives are affected and where change is needed the most is exactly in these humdrum day to day affairs. All major laws, such as the Women’s Bills are meant to do just that penultimately. The idea of this historic Bill is that women should have a larger representation in the decision making processes of the country SO THAT her day to day life is made easier, when she spells out her problems and pushes for reforms in these very areas, by influencing the policies that affect them. But the base effect is targeted at just you and me. Thus, it is your humble day to day woman who stands up to the ‘auto-wala’, the woman who sees that eve-teasers who pass lewd comments at her don’t go un-punished, the woman who insists that the men vacate the seats reserved for women in public transports, the woman who insists on being treated as an equal in class, and the woman who peels her eyes out vigilantly, and never shows slack when she notices a discrimination being committed – these are the real activists my friend. And they largely go un-noticed because these are day to day humdrum affairs which are not news-worthy.
Why these daily on-goings are of extreme importance is that these are the exact situations that make a woman easily susceptible to exploitation – and here, I’m not necessarily talking of obvious exploitation as in molestation and the like, which by the way is in-human and un-acceptable to the core. These are the very situations that prevent her from competing with her peers in whatever field of life she may be in – as a student, a colleague, as a house-wife or even a shopper. For example, if a young attractive woman wants to meet a male teacher, who can help her in her academic performance, she can easily be wiped out of the competition by un-scrupulous competitors and others, who create an atmosphere of “sir REALLY likes her”, thus using Anthropological social control to abuse the situation in a way Machiavelli would have been proud of. And this then is how a seemingly humdrum and innocuous situation is manipulated by any wily opportunist with a mindset to do so. Even if the male teacher is an impartial no sex preference type, more often than not, he would avoid meeting the said student. Having said that, I have no doubts whatsoever, that the same ‘impartial’ teacher would not hesitate to meet her had she been a ‘male’ student. Besides, meeting students to help them in their studies is rarely a part of any teacher’s obligatory duties – more often than not, it falls in the ethics and values department which have very elastic and flexible rules and boundaries. Bottomline – academically zealous student loses out. The tragedy is that she can do nothing about it – UNLESS she is an activist and chooses to fight it out – not through dharnas or strikes, but through PERSISTENCE.
A series of such events across a spectrum of fields is what in totality makes women the lesser developed and the lesser sex. It’s time to stop blaming Haryana and Punjab as the ‘infanticide’ and ‘discrimination’ bowls of India, and look at the net effect of these seemingly innocuous situations that in their totality add up to make Indian women one of the most backward in the world. What society can do, if not help her, is to either encourage her in spirit or at the very least just leave her alone without ridiculing her – something that rarely happens. What the so called ‘liberal’ men can do is to be alert to these happenings and arrest the flow of such situations that easily escape the eye. After all true women’s liberation is not always about numbers – M.M.Rs and I.M.Rs. The capacity to make women, even attractive non- de-glam ones, compete on an equal footing with their male counterparts is what the stuff is all about.
And to those of you, who came to my column based on my ‘attractive’ header, don’t complain -there lies the explanation.
But the biggest point that almost all fail to see is that the real activists are the ones who fight for change – for an improvement in their day to day lives. This then is the real challenge. The issues are rarely ‘news-worthy’, and the target is most likely a non-descript humdrum ‘regular’ bloke. And as we all know – CHANGE ALWAYS MEETS WITH RESISTANCE.
For example, as a champion of women’s rights and women’s empowerment, why do most folks automatically assume that I support ‘bra-burning’ or ‘women’s boxing’? Why do people expect me to be shrill and go on ‘dharnas’ or at least join a procession now and then? First off, I don’t support boxing – male or female. I just don’t get it; and enjoying it is far too much for me. All that blood etc, is too gory for me. Fact is, I’ve often wondered what aliens must think of us should they watch a boxing match from their spaceship far way. Hundreds of people watching and PAYING to see two people hurt each other as best they can?? I can see them shaking their heads and calling us un-civilised and barbaric at the very least. Second, as a practical science student who also passed in Physics at the Intermediate (Plus two) level, I certainly wouldn’t advocate ‘bra-burning’, if for nothing other than long term gravity effects which could result in irreversible un-aesthetic results. Third, for some reason, God gave me a weak set of vocal cords, as I’ve discovered much to my chagrin, since I love to converse. I’m prone to laryngitis and occasional pharyngitis – being shrill, is just a no no. (plus I find it distasteful on a personal level). As for the ‘dharnas’, lets face it – what with the global warming and what not, the heat is simply not worth battling it out on the streets, for someone who’s not a Mayawati who can manage to get a.cs fitted to their podiums.
Where women’s lives are affected and where change is needed the most is exactly in these humdrum day to day affairs. All major laws, such as the Women’s Bills are meant to do just that penultimately. The idea of this historic Bill is that women should have a larger representation in the decision making processes of the country SO THAT her day to day life is made easier, when she spells out her problems and pushes for reforms in these very areas, by influencing the policies that affect them. But the base effect is targeted at just you and me. Thus, it is your humble day to day woman who stands up to the ‘auto-wala’, the woman who sees that eve-teasers who pass lewd comments at her don’t go un-punished, the woman who insists that the men vacate the seats reserved for women in public transports, the woman who insists on being treated as an equal in class, and the woman who peels her eyes out vigilantly, and never shows slack when she notices a discrimination being committed – these are the real activists my friend. And they largely go un-noticed because these are day to day humdrum affairs which are not news-worthy.
Why these daily on-goings are of extreme importance is that these are the exact situations that make a woman easily susceptible to exploitation – and here, I’m not necessarily talking of obvious exploitation as in molestation and the like, which by the way is in-human and un-acceptable to the core. These are the very situations that prevent her from competing with her peers in whatever field of life she may be in – as a student, a colleague, as a house-wife or even a shopper. For example, if a young attractive woman wants to meet a male teacher, who can help her in her academic performance, she can easily be wiped out of the competition by un-scrupulous competitors and others, who create an atmosphere of “sir REALLY likes her”, thus using Anthropological social control to abuse the situation in a way Machiavelli would have been proud of. And this then is how a seemingly humdrum and innocuous situation is manipulated by any wily opportunist with a mindset to do so. Even if the male teacher is an impartial no sex preference type, more often than not, he would avoid meeting the said student. Having said that, I have no doubts whatsoever, that the same ‘impartial’ teacher would not hesitate to meet her had she been a ‘male’ student. Besides, meeting students to help them in their studies is rarely a part of any teacher’s obligatory duties – more often than not, it falls in the ethics and values department which have very elastic and flexible rules and boundaries. Bottomline – academically zealous student loses out. The tragedy is that she can do nothing about it – UNLESS she is an activist and chooses to fight it out – not through dharnas or strikes, but through PERSISTENCE.
A series of such events across a spectrum of fields is what in totality makes women the lesser developed and the lesser sex. It’s time to stop blaming Haryana and Punjab as the ‘infanticide’ and ‘discrimination’ bowls of India, and look at the net effect of these seemingly innocuous situations that in their totality add up to make Indian women one of the most backward in the world. What society can do, if not help her, is to either encourage her in spirit or at the very least just leave her alone without ridiculing her – something that rarely happens. What the so called ‘liberal’ men can do is to be alert to these happenings and arrest the flow of such situations that easily escape the eye. After all true women’s liberation is not always about numbers – M.M.Rs and I.M.Rs. The capacity to make women, even attractive non- de-glam ones, compete on an equal footing with their male counterparts is what the stuff is all about.
And to those of you, who came to my column based on my ‘attractive’ header, don’t complain -there lies the explanation.
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